How can I, a boy like this,Be left uncertain

How can I, a boy like this,Be left uncertain and be left amiss, How can love be so far away,And leave me pained in more than only one kind of way,If I were to live my life till the end,I am sure that I would be able to find love once again,I run back and forth on this road without hope,Everyday reaching closer to the ends of my rope.Love is the emotion that lurks in the dark,It creates hate yet beauty but will tear you apart,If I were to find love upon this day of all days,I would give it my all that’s all I can say,For if I were to waste this chance with my final breath,I would see the faces of loved ones and see the faces of death.So I sit here among you and hold it all in,But on the inside I feel I can only hopelessly sin,As a cry for help as I desire to shout it all to the heavens, If I were to try to let it all out, It’s hard to live on knowing that I may not be enough,It’s hard to continue telling the people I love this constant bluff,I say that I may say that I am fine,I may say I am okay,Yet I die a little more every single moment of every day.So please honey tell me what did I miss,Am I not strong enough smart enough or am I a fool,For believing that love is a feeling I desire that fills me with bliss,I need no drugs for love is my high,I feel that without it I might certainly die,I pray to God that I am not left once again,Because all I desire is a person to love who will always be my friendThis is the only thing I seek upon the lies,I make up with my loved enemies lead it may to my demise,I keep this hallowed ground and hope that it will help create a heart,For a heart shows us the path that keeps us away from the dark,We keep these people in our lives in hope that they will change,Because the darkness and the pain is like opium to our brain,If we run we are cowards and sacrifice our being,But it is still required to develop a deeper meaning.The word that hurts me most in the world is love,For I fear I may never find such a drug a second time,I fear that I may once again be left behind